Breaking the Cycle: A Journey of Healing Through Mindful Parenting
By [Your Name]
In a world rapidly embracing emotional awareness, many parents are discovering an unexpected truth: nurturing their children also heals their own childhood wounds. This perspective was articulated beautifully by Dr. Becky Kenedy, who stated, “When we show up for our kids in moments when no one showed up for us, we’re not just healing them. We’re healing ourselves.”
Lessons of Resilience
Growing up, many were taught to push through emotional turmoil, to suppress feelings in the name of strength. The cultural narrative has often promoted silence over vulnerability, leading generations to struggle with emotional disconnect. Yet, as these children become parents, an awakening often occurs—one that brings the unresolved past to the forefront.
Two mothers’ stories shine a light on this journey of rediscovery. Mariana Gordon, a former school psychologist, and her close friend Sondra Bakinde, an artist and interior designer, found themselves grappling with the complexities of emotional regulation not just in the children they worked with, but within themselves.
Reflecting Through Their Children
When Gordon became a mother, she faced emotions she had previously pushed aside. She recalls a poignant moment when her child’s overwhelming feelings acted as a mirror, reflecting back her own suppressed emotions. “I realized that instead of just reacting, I needed to see myself,” she shared.
Simultaneously, Bakinde was experiencing similar revelations. Although she had spent years creating environments for children to express themselves, her own childhood trauma occasionally surfaced, colliding with her desire to nurture her child.
Healing Through Mindfulness
The turning point for both women came with the understanding that teaching mindfulness to their children meant re-learning it for themselves. “When I teach my child mindfulness, I’m not just raising them. I’m re-raising myself,” Gordon explained. Practicing simple acts—pausing, breathing, and acknowledging each emotion without judgment—became their new approach to parenting.
In moments of emotional upheaval, instead of reacting with frustration or withdrawal, they began choosing connection. Gordon vividly recalls a moment when her child was overwhelmed and she simply sat beside him, whispering, “I’m here.” This act of presence became a transformative experience, emphasizing connection over control.
Rewriting Generational Patterns
Through their parenting journeys, Gordon and Bakinde realized they were also healing generational emotional patterns. Despite growing up in loving households, they recognized a pervasive struggle with emotional regulation that permeated their families. “Trauma was hard on them; they didn’t know how to process feelings, which became the blueprint I inherited,” Gordon reflected.
This new parenting approach isn’t just about raising emotionally aware children; it’s about breaking cycles of emotional suppression. Every breath taken together signifies a step toward rewriting the narrative. As they name emotions instead of suppressing them, they dismantle ingrained patterns.
A Sacred Connection
“I just need you to sit with me,” her son told Gordon during a particularly emotional moment, illuminating a profound truth: both parent and child require that same connection. This realization led them to a “softer way”—a rhythm rooted in presence and compassion.
Mindfulness, they discovered, does not always manifest as calm and quiet; it also thrives in the chaos of emotion. By letting children see their parents navigate discomfort, they cultivate an environment rich with understanding and safety.
Continuing the Journey
As Gordon and Bakinde unfold their stories through their work, they aim to share the importance of presence, understanding, and emotional validity. With their brand, The Mindful Mantis, they seek to foster an emotional fluency in children and their parents, creating spaces where feelings can coexist with love and acceptance.
In embracing the call to connect—to themselves and their children—they not only heal individually but collectively rewrite their familial legacies.
As they continue to learn together, they remind us all of a powerful truth: every breath we teach our children to take is one we must also reclaim for ourselves.
About the Authors
Mariana Gordon and Sondra Bakinde are the co-creators of The Meditating Mantis, a heartfelt initiative dedicated to nurturing mindful stories and courses for children and their caregivers. Learn more about their journey at The Mindful Mantis or follow them on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.