Navigating Love: Choosing Yourself First and Finding Real Intimacy

Breaking the Cycle of Settling for Less: A Personal Journey to Self-Worth and Real Love

In a society where love and worthiness are often tied to external validation and perfection, it can be easy to fall into the trap of settling for less than we deserve in relationships. Molly Rubesh, a life coach and writer, shares her personal journey of breaking free from this cycle and truly embracing her worth.

Molly recalls the first time she said “I love you” to a romantic partner, only to be met with silence and eventual disappearance. This experience left her questioning her own worth and believing she had to earn love through perfection and self-sacrifice. This pattern continued through college and her first marriage, where she realized that love couldn’t be forced or fixed.

It wasn’t until Molly found herself in therapy after her divorce that things began to shift. She realized that happiness couldn’t be achieved through external validation or self-improvement. She had to learn to love and accept herself as she was, flaws and all.

Through healing and self-reflection, Molly discovered that she was worthy of deep, committed love, and made a promise to herself not to settle again. She created a list of qualities she wanted in a partner to hold herself accountable and remind herself of her worth.

When Molly met her current husband, she entered into a relationship grounded in truth, mutual respect, and love that didn’t feel like work. They both had gone through divorce and approached their relationship with vulnerability and openness, healing individually and together.

Molly shares a pivotal moment in their relationship when she felt defensive about her body image, only to realize that her husband’s intentions were rooted in love and concern for her health. They chose to be vulnerable and communicate honestly, leading to a deeper understanding and connection.

In the end, Molly emphasizes that real love isn’t about being chosen by someone else, but about choosing yourself first. When you believe in your own worth and set standards for what you deserve, real love can find its way to you.

If you’ve ever felt the sting of rejection or found yourself settling for less in relationships, Molly’s story is a powerful reminder that you are worthy of a love that sees you fully and cherishes every part of you. By choosing yourself first and believing in your own worth, you can break free from the cycle of settling for less and welcome real love into your life.